1. Everybody has a book in them. And there was me thinking it was Crohn’s Disease. But seriously. You’ve lived a life, unless of course you’re currently watching Googlebox? You’ve seen so many things. Witnessed high and lows, loved and lost and seen so many characters and happy and sad occasions. Why not wrap it all into a backdrop of a fictional story?
  2. Writing is good for the sole. Yes I know that fish do not eat books but I just wanted to make sure you’re paying attention. The creative process of writing cleanses you better than any bathroom product. It can be cathartic and uplifting. And what’s more it’s free! Now how many things can you say that about?
  3. It’s such a proud achievement. Think about it. It’ll be around for people to read long after you’re gone. It’s your gift to those who knew you and those yet to hear of you. Your children will cherish it. Even those who hated you will have to grudgingly admit that you left a mark…. or a stain, depending on your point of view.
  4. Who knows? You might write a best seller. Let’s face it. There are so many questionable authors out there who only get published due to their z-list celebrity status or due to their friend and family connections. And many others who could never be described as fantastic writers but had one good idea and, through a series of essential lucky breaks, now live the good life. A certain Ms Rowling anybody?
  5. You can meet other writers. I never tire of reading how other writers got into writing and what provoked their stories and ideas. You can get so much inspiration from others as well as secretly plagiarising them. And you’ll end up with some very nice friends into the bargain, unless of course you get caught.
  6. You can now self-publish and so don’t always need a publisher! This is every potential writer’s winning lottery ticket. Most publishers, well almost all to be frank, will look for any reason NOT to publish you. I’ve been turned down so many times that my new novel will be called ‘Fifty Shades of Rejection.’ But with the growing power and the reach of social media, publishing your masterpiece has never been easier.
  7. There is no limit to what you can write about. You can literally free your mind to inhabit any world you desire and explore it to your hearts content. Surely it beats watching hours of terrible acting on all of those soaps? Come to think of it, a colonoscopy beats watching soaps don’t you think?
  8. It might earn you some cash. Actually, it might earn you a lot of cash if some screen writer sees it, falls in love with your idea and then offers you a ridiculous amount of money for the film rights. It probably won’t happen of course but as the old saying goes: you just never know. But then again if you’re not on the pitch you can’t interfere with play.
  9. Nothing will give you as much satisfaction as to when you write those two little words. ‘The End’ Now it’s just the small matter of completing the preceding thirty chapters to be taken of.
  10. Once you’ve finished the first one you’ll now be convinced that you can write a better one. And you will because from that moment you’re a writer my son……. or daughter.

Laters.

 

39 Comments

  1. Brilliantly funny. But its the editing process of which I am currently struggling with!

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    • Ah, editing is a whole different ballgame. A wise friend once told me to start with the small things, because then you feel like you’ve made inroads, and then tackle the bigger issues. Less overwhelming that way. Good luck

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  2. funny stuff. But the first thing is the one that resonates the most. If you keep waiting for inspiration and the “perfect” time you’ll never begin. I find that motivation is the key writing?

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  3. I am writing a novel at the moment. The hardest part for me with any writing I do is always getting the first words down. Blank pages are horrifying. Sometimes I write vignettes that I can plop into longer stories later on, just so I don’t have to start from nothing. I usually delete them later on, but it gets me started.

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  4. I think definitely starting is the hardest!!! This made me laugh. I think you’re right about Rowling by the way

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  5. Love this one. Yes sir. Will start

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  6. I’ve started. The hard part is to keep on keeping on. But I’m getting there and I know that with continued reminders – like this one – I’ll get it done. Thanks for the fun inspiration Derek!

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  7. I’ve started. I’d say I’m in the middle. I was part of a weekly writing group, and just the pressure of that deadline was good enough, but then we broke up for the summer and never got going again. great blog.

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    • Hooray for starting! My next post will be about the importance of finishing…

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  8. Thanks for the laughs Derek!
    I tend to plot and dream throughout the day when I’m busy doing other things, and write at night. I starting today!

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  9. One of the other great reasons to write “that story” now, is that it’s where that story belongs. Now. There’s no guarantees that the ideas, moods or tones that draw you to a particular story will still captivate you at a later date, because in time every story loses that ‘new car smell’.

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    • There’s also no sense in saving an idea for when you’re a more accomplished writer (as some people tend to think they’ll do), because that future point has its own ideas begging to be written.

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  10. My problem stems from feeling like I’ve used up all my words by the time my work writing is done. In the process of learning to balance. I need to tattoo #3 and #1 onto the backs of my eyelids. Thanks for the great and funny post.

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    • I write all-day for clients & like you use my “free” time doing household chores to plot and dream about my stories

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  11. I’ve always wanted to write a novel. I didn’t think I had time but thought I could maybe blog instead. Then 18 months I started a blog. Then I did a bit of freelance writing and started an additional blog. Now my day job is as a content developer for a major website and I blog at night. It’s so true that you need to just write and see where it leads. Maybe in a few years it’ll be novels.

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  12. I am on the final stretch of finishing a first draft. Each time I sit down to write, I fight to start. Will it be crap? Will anyone like it? Will anyone care? The first word is the hardest – but it is the victory over a constant struggle of self doubt. This blog made me laugh out loud!!!

    Reply
    • Getting that first draft finished is a major milestone Beenie, so keep going. You can always fix it. Remember that. Once you have words there, you can fix them. Much better than a blank page… Good luck

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  13. Thanks for the fun Derek. And I know its all tongue in cheek to get a reaction. You’re so right but the real problem for me is knowing the entire story before I start, then sticking to writing that.

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  14. My Uni lecturer, 20yrs ago, said once to the class. ‘I can give you the best three pieces of advice about starting your assignment: Start. Start. Start!’ Have never forgotten them

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    • Great advice!

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  15. Publishing a book would make it possible to be a voice of hope around the world and make possible my dream which is help make my husband’s dream come true – finding time to relax rather than the back-breaking work of construction.

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    • Sorry Noreen but you should be writing for you and writing because its in you. If you fail to make enough money to help your husband relax are you going to feel a failure???

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  16. Publishing a book would allow me to move closer to my dreams of being a full time writer and speaker. Great post, and very droll.

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  17. Publishing a book would make a dream come true. I have wanted to publish a book for as long as I can remember in my 29 years of life, but I, like many, have a fear of failure. I spend hours on the first page and then become discouraged that it will not be “perfect

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    • Just write Tammy. The more you do so the better you’ll become and the more ideas you’ll generate. Sure what’s the worse that can happen??

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  18. Fear of failure is a beast, isn’t it? One thing I’ve learned (the hard way!) is perfection isn’t what people are looking for, nor is it what they need. Just write your message, with as much heart and authenticity you can muster. Editing will take care of the rest.

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  19. Writing a book is something that’s been at the back of my mind for the past 10 years. It pops to the front now and then, but I can never justify the “why”. You just did that for me in your funny blog. Thanks for doing that, and also for the great deal from the other responders.

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  20. I’ve had 5 books published, I am learning tons. Wow, that says a ton.

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  21. Writing a book causes you to take a bunch of thoughts and ideas, rope them, tie them down, and make them work together. I took over six years to put my book together (doing research and writing in my “free time” between work and family), and I went through several revisions of my outline and purpose of the book. Go for it!

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  22. Hi Derek, i enjoy all of your blogs. I’ve just completed the first month of blogging again after a longer period of having it on hold. I have a clear vision on the topics I mean to cover and it will cover the complete spectrum of my niche. Down the road I might be able to re-use most of the posts to form a complete book. Cheers

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  23. I have thought a time or two about penning a book, but have not given any serious thought to it. I tend to hate rejection!

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    • Nobody likes rejection but its part of the process. Every writer , some great ones, have been rejected. That shouldn’t put you off. Write something that’s impossible to reject. When you have the secret please let the rest of us know!!1

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  24. Rejection!!! I have never met anyone yet who enjoyed it. But if you can move past that, oh, the things you can accomplish!

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  25. I like the intense focus and journey that a writer embarks on when writing. It can be good for the soul. Thanks for the fun derek

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  26. For me, writing a book would help fulfill a life-long dream, potentially impact a wider audience, and be a lasting legacy.

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    • I agree. The process of writing the book is rich with growth.

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  27. For me it would mean I have accomplished a lifelong goal. It would allow me the accomplishment that I have yearned for. It would be a launching pad for the things my future holds.

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  28. Writing a book not only accomplishes all you mention Derek, but it also does something for the writer. Especially if he/she is writing about something life-changing. I like your irreverent take though!

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  29. Writing a book is a great way to tell others your story, and can help the writer realize what they already knew, much better.

    Reply

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