Spanish Bullfighter Manages To Get The Horn!

Spanish Bullfighter Manages To Get The Horn!

Here’s a question for you. How many activities can you think of that labour under the delusion that they’re a sport? It’s a great debate after a few pints and I’d encourage anybody to try it. Anyway, personally I reckon that no sport can be deemed to be as such unless... read more
CLOWNS SHOULD BE RESTRICTED TO THE CIRCUS

CLOWNS SHOULD BE RESTRICTED TO THE CIRCUS

‘I don’t agree with what you said but I’d always defend your right to say it.’ In the last few years, unless you live in Russia, China or practically anywhere in the middle east, you would have probably come across this phrase, which sadly has become a lazy cliché... read more
Arise, Sir Cry Baby David!!!!

Arise, Sir Cry Baby David!!!!

David Beckham OBE was once asked if he intended to have his son Brooklyn christened. Dave, or Rodney to give him his proper name’s, priceless reply was: ‘Yeah we probably will, but we don’t know into what religion.’ Ever since, Dave has been managing to fool his... read more
Resolutions?….Don’t Make Any Promises!

Resolutions?….Don’t Make Any Promises!

Fast food, missed visits to my gym, and gossiping behind neighbours’ backs. These are the qualities that make me an unpredictable, free-spirited and brave person. It’s New Year once more, the time we all make a host of bad conscience inducing promises also... read more
Packaging!…..The Real Meaning Of Christmas.

Packaging!…..The Real Meaning Of Christmas.

So you’re all sorted. You’re up to your armpits in debt and will probably need a small mortgage to clear the credit card which you maxed out buying piles of absolute unnecessary shite for your horrible lazy children, and presents for family members, most of whom,... read more
I Demand That Christmas Is Cancelled!

I Demand That Christmas Is Cancelled!

I demand that Christmas is cancelled! Yes I know we should all love it and that I should feel horrible about this, because not liking Christmas is akin to not liking puppies or cupcakes. But I apologise because I just about hate everything about it. So much so, that I... read more
The Establishment Gets Trumped!

The Establishment Gets Trumped!

So there you have it. Donald has finally Trumped the establishment . ‘Brexit, plus, plus’ the great man even predicted it himself. A landslide when you come to think of it considering he has no political experience whatsoever. So now America’s elites, you know the... read more
Poppy Day?…..Just Pass Me The Opium!

Poppy Day?…..Just Pass Me The Opium!

Poppy politics eh? It’s enough to make you go red in the face. This morning, I bought my yearly poppy to mark the remembrance of those men and women who laid down their young lives so that people like ……well you know how it all goes by now. Anyway. I can’t properly... read more
Seriously. Who’d Be An American Voter?

Seriously. Who’d Be An American Voter?

Our American voter friends may be thousands of miles away, but you’d have to have a heart of stone not to feel sorry for them as they approach the imminent presidential election. In November the great American public will literally find themselves between a rock and... read more
Clinton and Trump. A Cheap Circus.

Clinton and Trump. A Cheap Circus.

Does your heart sink when you switch on the evening news and watch Clinton and Trump? The two clowns that have emerged from the American political circus who are slugging it out to become the next President of America? Do you find yourself asking: is this really what... read more
CATS!…….THE NEW ISIS?

CATS!…….THE NEW ISIS?

On my way home from work yesterday evening, I switched on the radio and found myself listening to an item about cats. Now the cat expert, I assume he must have been, announced that in the USA alone there are over sixty million stray cats. This is indeed a... read more
The French Diet. Kim Loses Seven Stones.

The French Diet. Kim Loses Seven Stones.

So there you go. Kim Kardashian was robbed. But this is where I’m on the same page as the talentless one. I know exactly how she feels because as an England football fan I know all there is to know about being robbed.  In actual fact, England are robbed at almost... read more
Illegality V Morality. A Difficult Fixture?

Illegality V Morality. A Difficult Fixture?

Oh deary me. Poor old Sam Allardyce. The England manager. The chosen one. The man to lead the England team out of the wilderness and into the promised land of another…….quarter final! Big Sam might be the man who is famed for his man-management skills but he may have... read more
If You Want To Cheat Legally Get An Exemption!

If You Want To Cheat Legally Get An Exemption!

Obviously when it comes to performance enhancing drugs the vast majority of us are as ignorant as pig-shit. Now, I had always assumed that TUE was an abbreviation for Tuesday? But in the Athletics world in general and the Olympic world in particular it has a... read more
Lara Croft Elbows Mr Smith!!!

Lara Croft Elbows Mr Smith!!!

So there you go. Mr and Mrs Smith are calling it a day. Another Hollywood, star-spangled marriage ends up on the cutting room floor. Brad and Angie join the long list of Hollywood celebrity marriages that don’t last as long as a bag of cinema popcorn.  Renee... read more
Throwing Baby From The Plane……At Last!!!!

Throwing Baby From The Plane……At Last!!!!

It’s that day you’ve been looking forward to for months. It’s the date with a big red circle around it on your kitchen calendar. The date that makes all the previous shit filled weeks, worth the wait. Yes. It’s the first day of your holiday. And don’t we all just love... read more
Holy S**T Is This All That’s On The Menu???

Holy S**T Is This All That’s On The Menu???

Imagine for a moment being trapped in a restaurant with only two choices on the menu: skunks testicles or a goat’s penis. Now, it doesn’t matter which one you choose because either one of them is going to make you gag, before you feel like throwing up. And of course... read more
Blind Tolerance? It’ll Be The Death Of Us All.

Blind Tolerance? It’ll Be The Death Of Us All.

How Long Do We Tolerate Being Tolerant? Tolerance. It’s a nice word isn’t it? And for as long as I can remember people have liked the idea of tolerance because it sounds so palatable. You know, ‘live and let live’ and all that stuff. It’s become the acceptable way of... read more
Rock &Roll? You’re ‘Avin A Larf!

Rock &Roll? You’re ‘Avin A Larf!

It’s Rock. But Not As We Know It? Another Summer and another Glastonbury Festival, or should that now be ‘Glasto’ if you want to sound all in and hip or more to the point, like a complete moron. For those of you who won’t be travelling to this field of mud baked... read more
Prisoner Upkeep. A Game For The Whole Family.

Prisoner Upkeep. A Game For The Whole Family.

Time For The Family To Cough Up? Last Sunday afternoon I was having a quiet pint with a couple of mates and the topic of the best careers for your children came up. One of the lads proudly announced that his nineteen year old son was thinking of joining the police.... read more
It’s Us Lot That Should All Be Kept In Cages?

It’s Us Lot That Should All Be Kept In Cages?

Listen Young man if you don’t leave here right now it’ll be me that gets shot! I like zoos. I can see why they are important for all kinds of research and protecting endangered species and all of the rest of it. A day out at the zoo was always one to look... read more
Who’s Arresting The PC Police?

Who’s Arresting The PC Police?

Does Non PC Offend You? Then Phone Somebody That Cares! Another week and another opportunity for the professionally upset to wet themselves in offended excitement.  The Republic of Ireland football manager makes some quip involving the word ‘queer’ while TV... read more
The Importance of Being Unequal!

The Importance of Being Unequal!

Equality eh? I ask you, who needs it? Have you ever noticed that some things just simply refuse to ever go away and usually because of the twenty or thirty people who are upset about it simply refuse to just let it go. As we sail serenely into the, usually, sunny... read more
Beer is a finite resource.

Beer is a finite resource.

Listen. Every other country does it and so we have no choice but to introduce beer charges. As on most Sunday afternoons, I like a quiet pint or three as I read my way through the Sunday newspapers. It’s a relaxing time and prepares me for the arduous week ahead. So... read more
Want To Complain About Endless Queuing?…….Get In Line.

Want To Complain About Endless Queuing?…….Get In Line.

                                     ‘Queue the endless waiting! Last Saturday I was happily chomping away at my cornflakes listening to the radio when this particular programme moved on to the next item The presenter announced that statisticians have worked that all... read more

Eurovision 2016

  ‘Good evening Stockholm. Here are the votes we sold earlier’  Eurovision 2016. Are we in for the same old ‘drag?’   So here we go again then. Another Eurovision Song Contest and another night of feck all points for Graand Britannia. Honestly why do we bother?... read more
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