by Derek | Jun 24, 2017 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Here’s a question for you. How many activities can you think of that labour under the delusion that they’re a sport? It’s a great debate after a few pints and I’d encourage anybody to try it. Anyway, personally I reckon that no sport can be deemed to be as such unless... read more
by Derek | May 28, 2017 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
‘I don’t agree with what you said but I’d always defend your right to say it.’ In the last few years, unless you live in Russia, China or practically anywhere in the middle east, you would have probably come across this phrase, which sadly has become a lazy cliché... read more
by Derek | May 5, 2017 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
So there you go. Big Phil’s chucking it all in. The Royal slave drivers have finally decided that when one reaches the age of 95 then one no longer has to walk five feet behind one’s wife with their hands behind their back insulting almost everybody she shakes hands... read more
by Derek | Mar 20, 2017 | Uncategorized | 6 Comments
So, our ungrateful Scottish friends are sick of our marriage and want a divorce! Fair enough. After all we’ve been sleeping in separate beds for years now, though we have somehow still managed to fuck them regularly! Anyway, I reckon we should insist on their... read more
by Derek | Feb 8, 2017 | Uncategorized | 9 Comments
David Beckham OBE was once asked if he intended to have his son Brooklyn christened. Dave, or Rodney to give him his proper name’s, priceless reply was: ‘Yeah we probably will, but we don’t know into what religion.’ Ever since, Dave has been managing to fool his... read more
by Derek | Jan 21, 2017 | Uncategorized | 7 Comments
So there it is. Just when you thought the phrase, the lunatics are taking over the asylum’ was a cliché, it actually happens right before your very eyes. The inauguration itself was an unintentionally hilarious event and a few minutes in, I was convinced that I... read more
by Derek | Jan 4, 2017 | Uncategorized | 10 Comments
Fast food, missed visits to my gym, and gossiping behind neighbours’ backs. These are the qualities that make me an unpredictable, free-spirited and brave person. It’s New Year once more, the time we all make a host of bad conscience inducing promises also... read more
by Derek | Dec 22, 2016 | Uncategorized | 6 Comments
So you’re all sorted. You’re up to your armpits in debt and will probably need a small mortgage to clear the credit card which you maxed out buying piles of absolute unnecessary shite for your horrible lazy children, and presents for family members, most of whom,... read more
by Derek | Dec 10, 2016 | Uncategorized | 6 Comments
I demand that Christmas is cancelled! Yes I know we should all love it and that I should feel horrible about this, because not liking Christmas is akin to not liking puppies or cupcakes. But I apologise because I just about hate everything about it. So much so, that I... read more
by Derek | Nov 20, 2016 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment
Americans. Did you know that sport is what’s making them all fat? Will I did. And to think that for years, medical opinion in the United States of America was divided, as well as way past exasperated, as to why millions of its citizens were basically the size of... read more
by Derek | Nov 9, 2016 | Uncategorized | 12 Comments
So there you have it. Donald has finally Trumped the establishment . ‘Brexit, plus, plus’ the great man even predicted it himself. A landslide when you come to think of it considering he has no political experience whatsoever. So now America’s elites, you know the... read more
by Derek | Nov 5, 2016 | Uncategorized | 9 Comments
Poppy politics eh? It’s enough to make you go red in the face. This morning, I bought my yearly poppy to mark the remembrance of those men and women who laid down their young lives so that people like ……well you know how it all goes by now. Anyway. I can’t properly... read more
by Derek | Oct 30, 2016 | Uncategorized | 8 Comments
The American Dream? There are many who would say that particular train ran out of steam years ago. America might have once supplied the world’s dreams and its fantasies but not anymore. For ordinary Americans, the American Dream is giving them all nightmares; from the... read more
by Derek | Oct 26, 2016 | Uncategorized | 14 Comments
Our American voter friends may be thousands of miles away, but you’d have to have a heart of stone not to feel sorry for them as they approach the imminent presidential election. In November the great American public will literally find themselves between a rock and... read more
by Derek | Oct 16, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Does your heart sink when you switch on the evening news and watch Clinton and Trump? The two clowns that have emerged from the American political circus who are slugging it out to become the next President of America? Do you find yourself asking: is this really what... read more
by Derek | Oct 9, 2016 | Uncategorized | 5 Comments
On my way home from work yesterday evening, I switched on the radio and found myself listening to an item about cats. Now the cat expert, I assume he must have been, announced that in the USA alone there are over sixty million stray cats. This is indeed a... read more
by Derek | Oct 3, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
So there you go. Kim Kardashian was robbed. But this is where I’m on the same page as the talentless one. I know exactly how she feels because as an England football fan I know all there is to know about being robbed. In actual fact, England are robbed at almost... read more
by Derek | Sep 27, 2016 | Uncategorized | 5 Comments
Oh deary me. Poor old Sam Allardyce. The England manager. The chosen one. The man to lead the England team out of the wilderness and into the promised land of another…….quarter final! Big Sam might be the man who is famed for his man-management skills but he may have... read more
by Derek | Sep 24, 2016 | Uncategorized | 7 Comments
Obviously when it comes to performance enhancing drugs the vast majority of us are as ignorant as pig-shit. Now, I had always assumed that TUE was an abbreviation for Tuesday? But in the Athletics world in general and the Olympic world in particular it has a... read more
by Derek | Sep 20, 2016 | Uncategorized | 8 Comments
So there you go. Mr and Mrs Smith are calling it a day. Another Hollywood, star-spangled marriage ends up on the cutting room floor. Brad and Angie join the long list of Hollywood celebrity marriages that don’t last as long as a bag of cinema popcorn. Renee... read more
by Derek | Sep 16, 2016 | Uncategorized | 9 Comments
VOGUE MAGAZINE……THE COFFEE TABLE PURCHASE OF CHOICE? As a writer and blogger I’m always on the look out to for something in the media that has everybody swimming in one direction precisely so that I can swim in the opposite. Thankfully you never have to... read more
by Derek | Sep 5, 2016 | Uncategorized | 7 Comments
Can you remember when you started to get really hacked off with the constant bombardment that if ‘If we don’t address this soon then Irish children will be the most obese in Europe by next Wednesday? Honestly, haven’t parents got enough on their plate without having... read more
by Derek | Aug 30, 2016 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments
So that’s that then. Honestly, are you seriously telling me that women burned their bras for this?? The very fabric of society…or at least the beach, is about to be torn apart. Now let’s be frank here. A great deal of us go to the beach not just because it’s a great... read more
by Derek | Aug 27, 2016 | Uncategorized | 6 Comments
It’s that day you’ve been looking forward to for months. It’s the date with a big red circle around it on your kitchen calendar. The date that makes all the previous shit filled weeks, worth the wait. Yes. It’s the first day of your holiday. And don’t we all just love... read more
by Derek | Aug 20, 2016 | Uncategorized | 7 Comments
Imagine for a moment being trapped in a restaurant with only two choices on the menu: skunks testicles or a goat’s penis. Now, it doesn’t matter which one you choose because either one of them is going to make you gag, before you feel like throwing up. And of course... read more
by Derek | Aug 13, 2016 | Uncategorized | 12 Comments
Look, I know we all enjoy a bit of television. Actually there are millions of lazy uneducated fatsoes out there who live for nothing else. But having said that, we all need to relax and chill and have those moments that take us away from the daily grind, whatever that... read more
by Derek | Aug 6, 2016 | Uncategorized | 16 Comments
In The table of Olympic Nations. Who’s Shooting Up? As I am typing this, the countdown-o’meter to the Rio Olympics tells me that there are just 4 days to go until the XXIX Olympics. That’s number 29 in old money. It kinda made me stop and think back to those much... read more
by Derek | Aug 6, 2016 | Uncategorized | 13 Comments
I’m writing this blog to you all from the safe environs of the Accident & Emergency Department of a well-known London Hospital. Actually, I’ve been rushed to one of the hospitals two Pokemon Rapid Injury Care Kiosks or PRICKS for short. So far I’ve been... read more
by Derek | Jul 23, 2016 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments
CAN ANYTHING BE DONE TO HELP BOB? It just goes to show that you never can, even for one minute, take your eyes off the elderly. The last time Bob Geldof was allowed to leave his residential care home, he managed to sneak onto a boat on the River Thames armed with a... read more
by Derek | Jul 13, 2016 | Uncategorized | 4 Comments
Irish Soccer Pundits. Not Good………..But Great! Last week during dinner with three of my good Dublin buddies, we were all locked in deep conversation as to whether ISIS might attack our favourite Spanish holiday destinations. This was all fuelled by... read more
by Derek | Jul 9, 2016 | Uncategorized | 4 Comments
Whatever You Do….Don’t Fiddle With The Engine! Oh well that’s that then. As expected, the anticipated glory of eleven English billionaires reaching the hallowed quarter-final of yet another major football tournament has ended as we all secretly knew it... read more
by Derek | Jun 25, 2016 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments
How Long Do We Tolerate Being Tolerant? Tolerance. It’s a nice word isn’t it? And for as long as I can remember people have liked the idea of tolerance because it sounds so palatable. You know, ‘live and let live’ and all that stuff. It’s become the acceptable way of... read more
by Derek | Jun 23, 2016 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment
It’s Rock. But Not As We Know It? Another Summer and another Glastonbury Festival, or should that now be ‘Glasto’ if you want to sound all in and hip or more to the point, like a complete moron. For those of you who won’t be travelling to this field of mud baked... read more
by Derek | Jun 21, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Nothing Can Put My Shades in The Shade? It was a wet, though thankfully, relatively snow free winter, and it was also a mostly wet but thankfully, snow free spring. It’s getting warmer and the Sun’s finally on its way. Of course there are lots of things that bind... read more
by Derek | Jun 19, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Time For The Family To Cough Up? Last Sunday afternoon I was having a quiet pint with a couple of mates and the topic of the best careers for your children came up. One of the lads proudly announced that his nineteen year old son was thinking of joining the police.... read more
by Derek | Jun 16, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
The American Dream And The Constant Nightmares! For years now it seems that I have totally misinterpreted the American Dream. There was me stupidly thinking that it was all about a set of ideals based upon democracy, rights, liberty, opportunity, and equality of... read more
by Derek | Jun 15, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
It’s Wimbledon Fortnight Once More Which Means Game, Set And Match to……..Well Not An Englishman? There are two things that really blacken my mood each year. One is the onset of winter and the other is the approaching two weeks of the Wimbledon Tennis... read more
by Derek | Jun 15, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Stop Taking The Tablets…….Or At Least The Antibiotics! Last evening I decided to kiss my wife and my parents goodbye. There was no point in putting this off any longer. Science and the pharmaceutical industry have failed us, unless of course you’re a dirty... read more
by Derek | Jun 12, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Listen Young man if you don’t leave here right now it’ll be me that gets shot! I like zoos. I can see why they are important for all kinds of research and protecting endangered species and all of the rest of it. A day out at the zoo was always one to look... read more
by Derek | Jun 12, 2016 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments
Does Non PC Offend You? Then Phone Somebody That Cares! Another week and another opportunity for the professionally upset to wet themselves in offended excitement. The Republic of Ireland football manager makes some quip involving the word ‘queer’ while TV... read more
by Derek | Jun 8, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Equality eh? I ask you, who needs it? Have you ever noticed that some things just simply refuse to ever go away and usually because of the twenty or thirty people who are upset about it simply refuse to just let it go. As we sail serenely into the, usually, sunny... read more
by Derek | May 31, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Nous Sommes allez les Euros Francais 2016! As I sit here typing this missive there sits a countdown o’meter on my wall that currently says that there twenty three days, nine hours, forty minutes and fifty three seconds, sorry make that two….no one…..Anyway you get the... read more
by Derek | May 30, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Enough’s enough. It’s time for a cull! Years ago in the UK there’s was a children’s television programme called ‘Magpie’. Essentially it was ITV’s answer to Blue Peter but to my mind wasn’t nearly as good. Yet I’m old enough to remember a time when Magpies were... read more
by Derek | May 21, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Forget About A Hospital Bed. Get Yourself A Trolley! Do you enjoy those lovely spring and summer nature programmes like ‘Springwatch, Badgerwatch and Naturewatch and the like? So do I. They make you feel all warm and cosy and they bring the delights of nature right... read more
by Derek | May 17, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
At last! Something we can all dance to. One of my author friends who resides in Canterbury, Kent one of the prettiest parts of England, called me up last week for the usual bit of chit chat. These chats have been going on since I married my beautiful Irish wife and... read more
by Derek | May 17, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Listen. Every other country does it and so we have no choice but to introduce beer charges. As on most Sunday afternoons, I like a quiet pint or three as I read my way through the Sunday newspapers. It’s a relaxing time and prepares me for the arduous week ahead. So... read more
by Derek | May 15, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
If your face can’t do sit-ups. Don’t get the needle. Many moons ago I dated a lovely girl from Swansea whose name was Katherine. Now there was once a time in England when telling your drinking buddies that you had a Welsh girlfriend was only a marginal... read more
by Derek | May 15, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
All Aboard The Luas. Joined Up Thinking…Finally! Undeniably the world is getting smaller. Fifty years ago it was already getting small but now it seems that as each decade passes it is getting smaller still. Now I’m not talking about physically smaller but... read more
by Derek | May 11, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
Hitler wasn’t a travel agent but then again if he was….? Let’s just get one thing out of the way shall we. I recognise the state of Israel and its legitimate right to exist. And I also support the creation of an indpendent Palestine. Can I also add that Ken Livinston... read more
by Derek | May 11, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
‘Taxi for Britain.’ Every Friday before I head home, I usually pop into my local branch of ‘Paddy Power’ and hand in my weekend easy slip which is my €5 bet for the weekend’s football. It’s part of the Irish weekend sporting ritual, not the watching of sport I hasten... read more
by Derek | May 11, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
‘Queue the endless waiting! Last Saturday I was happily chomping away at my cornflakes listening to the radio when this particular programme moved on to the next item The presenter announced that statisticians have worked that all... read more
by Derek | May 11, 2016 | Uncategorized | 0 Comments
‘Good evening Stockholm. Here are the votes we sold earlier’ Eurovision 2016. Are we in for the same old ‘drag?’ So here we go again then. Another Eurovision Song Contest and another night of feck all points for Graand Britannia. Honestly why do we bother?... read more
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