New Stuff

Well I’m a bust boy at the moment. I’m just putting the finishing edits to my new thriller. A story centred around the life of Detective Garda Sergeant with a terrible guilty secret. The story is set in Ireland this time, a place I know quite well by now seeing as I lived here for almost fifteen years! I’m never totally happy with anything I write which I can justify because I’m not a multi-million best selling author ….. yet, hahaha.

I’ve also been writing a collection of short stories. Almost complete and again just need to review them again … and again. Editing and reviewing your work is the dullest part of writing but the most necessary and important. It’s essential that it’s done so learn to enjoy it.

Anyway the collection is entitled; ’14 Unfortunate Incidents’ Here’s a couple of examples to whet your appetite.

Laters

NOT EVERY MAN IS HOPELESS AT DIY

It’s true isn’t it? You never really know anybody. Even those closest to you. Once I had read it I was filled with disbelief to point where I was convinced that I couldn’t have read what I had just read, or had I? It wasn’t real. Or had I been meant to read it? I mean, you don’t just leave these things lying around for all and sundry to delve into do you? Calmly I was maintaining a safe distance as I looked at it motionless on the table, while it seemed to scream back at me to look just once more. I put it back and promised to try and forget about it. Let’s be honest. Who hasn’t made a mistake eh? It was the only way I could deal with it.
And this probably sounds funny, but soon afterwards and for the first time in over twenty five years of marriage, I decided that I’d quite like to take up a hobby. Keep my mind off of things you know?
It was important that I got myself an interest in something because every Tuesday and Friday evening for past eighteen months, Annabel had been attending some arty creative writing course at Glenside Arts College, located just outside of Wyncote. I have to say, it came as a bolt out of the blue when she informed me that she had been thinking long and hard for some considerable time about studying literature She said something about needing to occupy her mind and maybe meet new friends, as well as getting her out of the house every once in a while. I could see where she was coming from. Personally I’m of the opinion that it’s always good idea to keep one’s mind and body active. It’s just that now’s the time to practice what I preach. I forgot about the diary.
But in all the years I’ve known her, I can honestly say that I’ve never seen Annabel read so much as a cookbook recipe. So yeah, I was really taken aback by her choice of ‘hobby’. Our two children, Melanie and Scott have long since flown the nest. Melanie has recently moved in with that tosser Anthony, whatever his name is. Anabel thinks that he’s very kind and considerate and always treats Mel very good. Only trouble is, that none of that goodness has ever stretched to the lazy bastard ever getting himself a decent job! ……….

‘…. So every time I go off to the gun club on a Tuesday and Friday eh?’ I folded the gun under my arm. Annabel nervously returned to the bedroom and handed me the diary, but my hands were busy. So I asked her to open it up so I could read it. There was this little mention where she had ranted angrily about how she wishes that the guy would leave her alone and how she wished she had the strength to make him disappear forever. I asked her to tear out that specific page and slide it below the pillow as a reminder. It was the same page I had read when I had found her diary. Then I pulled the gun back out and pointed it towards her.

‘Now take off your clothes and get back in the same position as you were in with her before I came in. And try not to think you can outsmart me.’ Nervously they both complied. I then walked up behind Annabel and whispered into her ear.

‘You’re going to kill him tonight and then not knowing what to do, you’re going to kill yourself as well ….

SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO HEART.

Penelope had managed to finally get over her husband cheating with my wife. I wish I could. A year or so ago the four of us were like brothers and sisters. We went everywhere together; on holiday, to the pub, meals on a Saturday evening. And then …and then it happened. Of course I was upset. I was bloody devastated to be honest. Dave and I played golf together, and told each other everything and anything. But then you never bloody see it do you? Nobody does. It doesn’t even cross your mind that your best mate would end sleeping with your missus and that it’s been going on right under your bloody nose. In your own bed, on your sofa and probably on the stairs whenever she’d tell him I was working late in the studio. It sounds funny but I reckon Jackie sleeping with Dave was a bigger betrayal of Penny than it was of me. Women don’t usually do that shit do they?
Of course he came around one evening and confessed, crying like a baby he was. And then Jackie came in and then she started blubbering as well. They were so sorry for all of the hurt they had caused bla de bleedin blah. I mean, they’re always sorry aren’t they? When it’s too bleedin late. Penny was heartbroken, and I don’t think she came out of her house for about six weeks. I wanted to visit her, to say something. After all she was still my friend and hadn’t done anything wrong. But … but I just couldn’t. I think she felt the same way about me …

… Apparently, it turned out that my wife preferred it too! I had the perfect idea for my art exhibit, I just needed to make sure that the display was mounted correctly. I had kept the materials in the freezer just to make sure that they remained pliable. One of the hazards of producing certain pieces of contemporary art is making sure that it doesn’t offend the nostrils. I remember going to a Damian Hirst exhibition in New York about five years ago and the stench was intolerable. But you know what, there were still people luxuriating in it. You know, all part of the artistic experience rubbish. Honestly, if Hirst had done a shit in the corner it would more than likely have been hailed as the major artistic event of the bleedin decade! And some know-nothing art collector billionaire would have bought it as a future investment!
Anyway, as promised the police showed up at my house at around eight thirty and asked to be taken to the studio. I didn’t protest. I was happy to oblige in their search for clues. But they wouldn’t find anything because there was nothing to find. They rummaged around for about twenty minutes, but like I said they found nothing…

Hope I got your interest.